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If anything, it’s too painful to look at head-on, so we look away. Particularly younger men need to be taught that this is not “cool” behavior, quite the opposite.Men can play a huge role here in teaching their sons. How many rapes and gang rapes have happened because some young men were afraid to stop it, or losing their place in the group because they interfered?If all those men, however, would tell him that was a little over the top and rather uncalled-for, he was just knocked down a few notches by his own peers. Oftentimes, men who commit those crimes are not necessarily the most physically powerful.
I see nothing wrong with a man letting out a quick whistle, and telling a woman that she is one beautiful woman – as long as that’s where it ends. Same when men make quick remarks about how hot a woman is to each other. And it also depends on how quickly it is dismissed, and how far it goes.
If other men, however, shun his behavior as well, the intimidation factor to the perpetrator becomes much greater.
At the very least, it takes away the feeling that other men are “on his side”, or support his behavior (silence can often be misinterpreted as support).
Which leaves pretty much every sympathetic man in a bit of a bind. Most men agree there should be consequences for perpetrators of sexual harassment. I wonder if I have anything in common with Weinstein, Ailes, and Trump. Oftentimes, people get away with this behavior not only because women do not report it, but also because men can turn a “blind eye” and ignore it.
Most men will never fully understand what it’s like to be objectified at a young age or repeatedly threatened by men of greater strength or power. Or struggle to square the staggering statistics with our own limited experience. The less other men ignore the issue, the less comfortable it will be for those people to behave that way (commit the crime).